Interesting Postcards

'Bing bing bong, this is Radio Butlin'. Yes, it really happened. We used to go on holiday to Butlins in the seventies, and always had a brilliant time. I'll tell you about it someday, as well as posting more of my surprisingly extensive Butlins postcard collection. Bet you can't wait. But you'll have to, as I'm now on holiday for a bit. Reheating a soufflé is a pretty tricky operation. 

Interesting Postcards

Dolphins at Brighton Aquarium, Sussex

I know what you're thinking, 'yeah, dolphins are cool, Paul, but they're not that interesting'. Well, wind your neck in, mate, because these clever little bastards are Dick and Delilah, the dolphins the CIA trained to sabotage Soviet submarines during the cold war. And you can't prove otherwise.

Interesting Postcards

The Frogmore Shopping Centre,

Lovedean

Not so much a centre as a short parade, these three shops nevertheless can fulfil most of the Hampshire village of Lovedean's more pressing needs, as long as they need a loaf of bread, a paper or a perm. I like the lady emerging from the lane, love the flats above and if there's a better name for a retail operation than 'Mr. Butch', I've yet to hear it.

Regular readers might recognise this from a previous posting on my defunct weblog 'This Is Not The Universe'. Weirdly, this was the most popular thing to ever appear there, with an astounding 72,000 hits. I'm prety sure the internet must have been broken that day.

Interesting Postcards

1972 Outspan Orange

The National Motor Museum

Beaulieu, Hampshire

'Outspan commissioned six of these advertising vehicles in the early 1970s and they were used extensively both in this country and abroad. The engine of the car is from a Mini, though a specially fabricated chassis is used'. 

I'll bet this provided a fantastically embarrassing driving experience, as well as causing whiplash injuries wherever it went as heads snapped around to watch its progress. My only comparable experience is from when I was in the village of Bournville and a Cadburys Creme Egg car from nearby 'Cadbury World' drew up alongside us at the lights. It was the only time in my life when I have literally rubbed my eyes in disbelief. I was so shocked, in fact, that I had to pull over for some chocolate. 

Interesting Postcards

Ullapool Mercury Motor Inn,

Rosshire, Scotland,

Telephone: Ullapool 2314

Ah, Ullapool, gateway to the Outer Hebrides.  If you should miss the Isle of Lewis ferry, however, you can always stay the night at the Mercury Motor Inn* although please be aware that getting pissed on Youngers Tartan Ale the night before can seriously impair your sea going experience.

* Please note: this hotel is now called the Morefield, and its number is 01854 612161.

Interesting Postcards

Cavendish Hotel
Eastbourne
Tel: 27401
Hotel photograph includes new Devonshire Wing.

These Britons on holiday in Britain are doing what Britons on holiday in Britain always end up doing: making the best of it. On that unforgiving beach, under the relentless scrutiny of older people in deckchairs and in the shadow of the monstrous, unsympathetic new Devonshire Wing, the adults smile and try and look like they're having the time of their lives. To their right, however, their daughter undermines their plucky efforts with a simple but eloquent gesture of abject despair.

The back of the postcard says it all.

Interesting Postcards

I’ve been to Hunstanton a couple of times and never noticed it’s resemblance to Portmeirion or, indeed, how much the beach looks like the irradiated coast where David Bowie filmed the ‘Ashes to Ashes’ video. I’m not as observant as I used to be. Bloody Coalition.

I also like the distinction between Hunstanton and New Hunstanton, and the inclusion of the cliffs in the latter category, as if they are a relatively recent addition.

Interesting Postcards

The Royal Family,

Madam Tussauds,

London.

Judging from the presence of Captain Mark Phillips and Fergie, this tableau dates somewhere between 1986 and 1992. For me, the key note is that the likenesses aren't particularly good, especially The Queen and Prince Philip who, after all, had been around long enough to get right. My beloved Louis Tussauds in Great Yarmouth managed a similar effect on much less money. 

In a huge Island of Terror coup, we have managed to track down a copy of the very same postcard that, up until 2002 (when he lost it on the night bus) was in the possession of Prince Edward. 

Interesting Postcards

Mildmay Convalescent Home,

Worthing,

Sussex. 

Mildmay may not look much fun to us, but then we're not recovering from a serious operation (my apologies if you are, indeed, recovering from a serious operation and still think it looks rubbish). In its defence, on the 24th June, 1977, June wrote to her family in Jersey stating that Mildmay is 'a most wonderful place' and she was actually there so she'd know, I suppose, unless, of course, the staff were burning her with hot knitting needles and forcing her to write nice things, the animals.

Interesting Postcards

The Globe,

Swanage,

Dorset

I think this is definitely an interesting postcard but, apart from making an obvious remark about women in Dorset liking massive balls, I don't really have anything interesting to say about it. So there.

Interesting Postcards

The Crooked House,

Himley,

Nr. Wolverhampton,

Staffordshire.

These are very early Edwardian postcards, the second one being postmarked 1902, the first taking its detail from an item in 'T.P's Weekly' originally published on June 17th, 1904. It says it all so much better than I could, so here it is in full:  

Near the eastate of Earl Dudley, at Himley, there is a very curious habitation known as 'The Crooked House'. It is a red brick building with a wide passage right through, leading to back premises. It is altogether out of the perpendicular, and slanted towards the south end, which is heavily shored up with thick red buttresses. Some part of the outer wall is buried several feet in the ground.

These peculiarities are the result of mining operations - the under-stratum of the earth is these parts being completely 'honeycombed'. It is as difficult to walk steadily through the doorway as to pace the deck of a vessel in a rolling sea. as you walk along the warped floor your head and shoulders lean very palpably across the passage, and to maintain the equilibrium is a matter of the greatest difficulty. The rooms of the house are equally out of joint, and present some remarkable optical illusions.

The clocks on the walls, although absolutely perpendicular, as their pendulums testify, appear to be hanging sideways at a very pronounced angle. A short glass shelf, one end of which appears to be a foot higher than the other, proves to be absolutely level, while in the tap room, is a table which is apparently slanting, but on which if round marbles are placed at the seemingly lower end they roll to all appearance uphill to the top of the table, and fall over with a bump. These do not exhaust the remarkable features of this curious tenement, but those quoted fully justify its title to the name of 'The Crooked House'.  

Remarkably, despite modern ideas about about Health & Safety, The Crooked House is still in situ and, even better, it's now a pub!

The back of this postcard threw up one of those haunting messages from the past that collectors sometimes find. It's not terribly clear, but it appears to say: 

Dear Aunty, am sorry to tell you that Frank was killed on Thursday and is going to be buried at at Pensnett on Tuesday at 3.30.' 

I can't really read the rest, but it signs off 'love to all'. Fancy using a postcard of a Crooked House to convey all of that pain. Over a hundred years later, it still hurts to read.

Interesting Postcards

Madame Tussauds Store Room,

Wookey Hole,

Wells,

Somerset.

I worked out a long time that the Wookey Hole is the most hauntological place in Britain. My evidence: an ancient cave network, used by man for 50,000 years, frequented by witches, haunted by unquiet spirits, the scene of several deaths, location for Blakes 7 and Dr. Who (and a Dr. Who exhibition), a tourist destination for hundreds of years and, for Christ's sake, Madam Tussaud's used to send their cast offs there. 

I went there in 1979 and stood amazed in front of the seemingly endless display of old heads. I was already obsessed with waxworks, so this was a revelation. For some reason, the only one I can remember now is murderer Charlie Peace, mainly because my Granddad used to compare me to him when I misbehaved. The rest is a happy blur of incredulity.

If anyone can give me some more information about 'M.Smith' I would be very grateful. He's the fellow in the middle who looks a bit like Danny La Rue, and I have absolutely no idea who he is and that really bothers me.   

Interesting Postcards

Poldark Mine
Wendron,
near Helston, Cornwall

Staying around Helston, may I present 'one of Cornwall's finest attractions', the Poldark Mine, which clearly has a lot going for it aside from its blatant TV tie in name. Where else could you walk around wearing a hard hat and tiny shorts and a vest? Go where the men wear less clothes than the women? Eat a picnic on a field in the shadow of archaic industry as a post-nuclear sun sets?*

Being in Cornwall, the Poldark mine was for the extraction of tin. It still is in a way, as it remains a major tourist destination and now costs a tenner to get in.

*The answers are, respectively, in a real mine, as actual miners often worked near naked; in countries under Sharia Law and, finally, Rotherham.

Interesting Postcards

The Viking Ship and Hovercraft,

Pegwell Bay,

Ramsgate,

Kent.

At first this looks like a tremendously exciting race between three very different modes of transport with, ironically, the most archaic just in the lead. Then you realise that the Maxi and the longboat are parked, so the hovercraft is going to wipe the floor with them. I travelled to France on a hovercraft once. As I recall it was like riding a spinning washing machine over a ploughed field. They look great though, don't they? And so much faster than stationary vehicles.

Interesting Postcards

Marlborough Hotel

St. Leonards on Sea, Sussex

L6/SP. 2626 

I simply can't find anything clever to say about these postcards, I find them too depressing. The Marlborough Hotel apparently closed in the late eighties, and stood empty for many years before being demolished in 2001. Rather appropriately, a care home now stands in its place.   

Interesting Postcards

Giant Panda, Chi Chi

Pandas feed on bamboo shoots and are confined to the area around Szechuan in Western China. Chi-Chi was captured there in 1957 and lived in the London Zoo from 1958 to 1972

British Museum (Natural History) London SW7 5BD

There’s an inherent contradiction in a nation of animal lovers who wrench creatures from their natural habitat and put them in a cage for the duration of their lives, but there it is, we’re complicated people. The same ambiguity extends to our furry friends post mortem: having loved the creature, we have it cut up, emptied out, stuffed and put on display again - this time for all eternity. No wonder Chi Chi looks so forlorn.

Interesting Postcards

Baby Elephants and Keepers,

Clifton Zoo,

Bristol

Naturally, the appealing picture makes you think of people skidding on shit in the 'Blue Peter' studio, but the most extraordinary aspect of the postcard is that it got to its destination at all given how muddled the address is. It would be in the bin as soon as it got to the sorting office these days. Ah, 1964, when postmen would salute passers-by and never, ever nick your birthday money.

My favourite bit in the message is 'We have nearly finished hay making. Good luck with exams. I hope you go right to the top.' Nice sentiment, Julia, I hope Susan did exactly that.

Interesting Postcards

Fistral Bay Hotel
Pentire, Newquay, Cornwall
The Superb Heated Swimming Pool

I don't think that swimming pool looks superb at all. I think the whole area looks like a cramped, concrete holding pen for holidaymakers too scared to leave what the owners no doubt describe as 'The Complex'.

It's like something out of J.G Ballard: limited space and too few sun loungers leads to territorial tussles and simmering resentment and when the concrete bridge across the pool gets wet it becomes a death trap and civilisation breaks down completely. On the plus side, the seven foot wall blocks some of the traffic noise and the water temperature is a steady four degrees centigrade.

I think I'm going to write to 'Watchdog'. Was it on in 1979?

Interesting Postcards

Speedwell Cavern

Castleton,

Derbyshire (A625)

'Foot-pushing'

'The Guide's method of propelling the boats along the old mine levels when visiting the Speedwell Cavern. A Method copied from the old canal bargees.'

A rather motley looking crew here. In no order, particular favourites are: the ginger Bay City Roller in the cool striped blazer - absolutely at the height of fashion at the moment this photograph was taken - obsolete by the time it had been printed onto a postcard; the fellow with the semi-closed eyes, great sideburns and a fetching moustache who looks like he's probably carrying a knife; the middle aged woman with the plastic head scarf who is simply refusing to enjoy herself and, last of all, the happy tall fellow at the back who is about to get a severe concussion. They just don't make 'em like this, anymore - who these days would be daring enough to wear a black leather coat with a canary yellow polo neck? 

Interesting Postcards

Royal Coachmen,
The Royal Mews,
Buckingham Palace,
London.

The bloke second from the right seems to have crapped out in terms of gold braid. He can, however, go down the shops in his uniform without kids chucking stones at him.