Where Science & The Occult Clash!

‘Nothing But The Night’ is a bit of a one off, which is wholly appropriate given that it was the sole product of Charlemagne Films, a company set up to make intelligent horror films but lost so much money that they folded before they could make a follow up.   

The narrative takes a while to come together but, ultimately, it turns out to be a curious mix of (to paraphrase the US poster) science and the occult, with some lovely Highlands and Islands scenery and a great cast, including Peter Cushing, Christopher Lee, Diana Dors, Kathleen Byron, Keith Barron, Fulton Mackay and Cassandra out of ‘Only Fools & Horses’ as a kid who WILL-NOT-STOP-SCREAMING and, ultimately, will utter the greatest lines ever spoken on film by a child:

"You've destroyed my dreams. I curse your cruel God"

At its core is a rather disquieting tale of child abuse in a remote orphanage, but perhaps not in the way that you might immediately think. There’s also a marvellous sequence in which dear old Diana Dors (playing a crazy, shouty clairvoyant) goes feral, running around the countryside evading the authorities like a chocolate munching Ray Mears in a ginger wig and red leatherette rain coat.

Little seen, somewhat neglected, this film always reminds me of a pleasing mix of ‘The Damned’ and ‘Scream and Scream Again’, and although it’s no kind of masterpiece, it nevertheless has strange ideas and weird horror at its core, and that’s like Turkish Delight on Toast for me.     

Nothing But The Night

Drink A Pint Of Blood A Day

‘Taste The Blood Of Dracula’ is a bit of a funny old Dracula film. Apart from a prologue which rehashes the end of 'Dracula Has Risen From The Grave' to include a scene in which Drac shares a scene with Roy Kinnear (finally!), the  undead one doesn’t even show up for forty five minutes and, when he does, everything goes downhill quickly from there.

The main story concerns three rich middle aged men (Geoffrey Keen, John Carson and, ulp, Peter Sallis) who, bored with life, have formed a kind of Saga Hellfire Club, and spend their time pursuing the ‘ultimate thrill’ (prossies, mainly, some drug abuse - 'cracking opium, Grommit!'). Overindulging in the flesh has left them jaded, however, and they yearn for something different. Enter super decadent fop Lord Courtley (Ralph Bates), a man so dastardly that working girls pay him for sex. Courtley offers the men a bargain: if they give him a thousand quid he will include them in a satanic ritual which will give them eternal life.

Intrigued, slightly turned on, they willingly fork over the cash only for Courtley to immediately give it to Roy Kinnear who, many years after his encounter with the Count, has kept his cloak, clasp, signet ring and a phial of his dried blood. With these unearthly artefacts in his possession, Courtley enacts some unspeakable rites in a deconsecrated church, climaxing in him adding blood to the dried Dracula blood and making a horrible looking cocktail with which the men are expected to drink. Thrills are thrills, but this looks like red Complan mixed with dog shit, so the men demur and, refusing to follow Courtley’s example and drink, instead beat him to death.

Courtley doesn’t stay dead too long, of course, his corpse soon transforming into Count Dracula who, for whatever reason, immediately vows revenge on the three men, a petty vendetta that seems slightly beneath him. In fact, this reincarnation of Dracula is marked by how pathetic he is: stumbling around in an ill-fitting black wig (occasionally resembling Nicolas Cage), he seems remarkably powerless, getting teenage girls (Linda Hayden and Isla Blair) to bring victims to him and, indeed, to do most of his dirty work. The climax, in which he is thwarted by a skinny kid with a couple of crucifixes, is one of the poorest of all Dracula deaths: he seemingly dies of fright, like one of those weird goats that has a heart attack if someone makes a sudden movement.

In an ideal world, this needn’t have been a Dracula film at all, it could have just been about the horrible revenge of the undead Courtley. It would have been great if he’d rampaged around killing the men in ingenious ways and introducing their daughters to all sorts of depravity before being sent back to hell by an angry mob or a priest with a shotgun or something - but then that wouldn’t have had Dracula in the title, and that’s the crux of the matter: the brand gets the audience in the cinema – after that, well, that’s their problem.

Taste The Blood Of Dracula

Fiendish Daughter

London, 1888: a syphilitic nutter in a top hat is on the run from an angry mob. He ducks into a house, evidently his own, viciously murders his wife / girlfriend with a big knife and then bids a fond farewell to his two year old daughter (who has witnessed the whole thing), kissing her goodbye before putting her back in her cot and making his escape. Blimey, you think, I bet this primal scene will have a psychological impact on the toddler, I expect she’ll grow up all wrong. She does, dear reader, she does.

‘Hands of the Ripper’ is an interesting film which combines elements of the classic Hammer Gothic style with the psychological b-movies the studio used to do so well. Baby faced Angharad Rees plays the grown up wrong girl, the daughter of, yes, Jack the Ripper, who, under certain conditions (a glint of light, a drop of blood, a kiss on the cheek) flips out and starts stabbing people with whatever she has to hand. Much murder and Kensington Gore follows.

A well-made, fast moving film, it’s thoughtful and intelligent for something so savage and extravagantly bloody and is embued with a tragic fatalism. Something of an unsung minor classic, 'Hands Of The Ripper' is certainly one of the more interesting diversions on the twisting, turning journey Hammer found itself on in the early seventies as they tried desperately to stay in business, and is more than worthy of your attention.

Hands Of The Ripper

Conceived By The Devil

As you might guess from the poster, ‘I Don’t Want To Be Born’ is ridiculous.

Joan Collins is a stripper in a crappy nightclub (in a parallel universe, Joan was a stripper in a crappy nightclub). For some reason, her dancing companion is a dwarf called Samson who, of course, fancies her. When she rejects his advances he curses her with the immortal words “You will have a baby...a monster! An evil monster conceived inside your womb! As big as I am small and possessed by the devil himself!"

It’s never explained quite what Samson’s credentials are to make such a statement, but it works, and soon Joan is giving birth to a 12lb baby who proceeds to scratch, bite, punch and head butt any adult stupid enough to look into its cot, before moving on to murder. Luckily there’s a nun in the family who is able to exorcise the unholy tot, but she’s too late to save the rest of the cast, who have been drowned, hanged, decapitated and stabbed with scissors en route.

The notion that a new born baby could beat and murder the adults who care for it is an interesting one: I mean, okay, even if it was possessed by the Devil and able to draw upon unnatural strength, what about the co-ordination and manual dexterity needed to, say, make a noose, sling it over a branch and hang an adult with it? I know babies, and they’re just far too floppy for all that. Even Damien didn’t start causing real problems until he was a toddler. So, yes, it’s ridiculous. Actually, it’s fucking ridiculous. I love it

I Don't Want To Be Born

La Regina Dei Vampiri

A subtle Spanish poster for 'Countess Dracula'. Please note the fangs and what can only be the skulls of children or midgets.

Pretty Thirsty

'Countess Dracula' is one of the few Hammer horror films that uses fact as its starting point, i.e. the nasty real life exploits of Countess Bathory, although it departs very quickly from actual events and distorts and twists the source material to its own evil ends (also see 'Rasputin, The Mad Monk') .

Ingrid Pitt stars as the decrepit Countess Elisabeth who discovers that she can radically rejuvenate her appearance by the application of fresh blood from a virgin. Naturally, this isn't the sort of beauty product you can buy in Boots, which leads to murder and mayhem and some truly massive hats. Ingrid is very good as the old Countess, not so good when posing as her own daughter (ironically, she's slightly too old for the role), but, overall, gives probably her best film performance.

Originally released as a double bill with 'Vampire Circus', 'Countess Dracula' is an interesting and atypical Hammer which, despite the title and most of the promotional material, contains absolutely no vampirism whatsoever.

Countess Dracula