Jobs For The Girls

The 1974 recruiting film 'When You Wake Up' ruthlessly went all out to get women to join the Armed Forces,  turning their pretty little heads with the amazing range of career opportunities available. 'Code breaker' is a civilian post, presumably. 

The Sweet Life

The Sweet were still pretty big in 1974 but, even as they appeared in the BBC documentary 'All that Glitters' celebrating their success, they were already beginning their slow descent from the toppermost of the poppermost to yesterday's news.

The group come over rather well (with the exception of bassist Steve Priest who reminds me of a less funny Jim Davidson, if you can imagine such a thing): thoughtful, earnest, honest - and with no illusions that their fame will, ultimately, be anything more than fleeting.

It's worth catching the rest of the show if you can, especially for more storming live footage that demonstrates just how good the band were at their peak.

F*** Me, It's Freddie!

FMIF as tweedy terrorist / embittered nutter Sidney Buckland in Richard Lester's bombs on a cruise ship thriller 'Juggernaut' (1974).

The Freakmaker

Released in 1974, ‘The Mutations’ turned out to be the last film that Jack Cardiff directed, and the last film that Basil Kirchin scored, so you might well expect it to be a career ending disaster, a monumental flop that derailed the hitherto promising careers of two excellent people. In actual fact, it isn’t bad at all: just a little cheap and tacky. But it’s fun, which goes a long way, and the music is great.

Donald Pleasance plays Professor Nolter, a brilliant biologist and geneticist who is working on creating animal / plant hybrids so that mankind can live by photosynthesis and the world hunger issue can be eradicated, which is fair enough. But why do the annoying (and really old) students in his seminar group keep disappearing, and what exactly is going on at the local Freakshow? That’s right, the local Freakshow. It’s that sort of film.

The Freakshow is the centre of the mystery, and is populated by a cast of real sideshow performers with a variety of deformities (including a man who can pop his eyeballs out of his sockets) and it is their presence that raises issues of exploitation and sensationalism. The majority of their screen time is documentary type footage of their tent show where they introduce themselves and their ‘talents’ in time honoured carnival style, but they also have some dramatic scenes that are deliberately staged to recall Tod Browning’s ‘Freaks’, including appropriating some of the dialogue. These scenes have a real pathos that is not in the script, but written by their haunted faces, awkward movements, and the obvious sadness of their limited lives. In classic horror style they become killers at the end, of course, and give a fairly impressive demonstration of deadly knife throwing.

Pleasance is very understated and utterly convinces as a dedicated, if somewhat sardonic man of science. You could almost believe he might even be the hero of this story until you see him tenderly stroke a large rabbit before shoving it into the open trap of a massive carnivorous plant. No matter how many times I see this, it always makes me laugh.

Scott Anthony is the male lead (well, he shares the honour with screen vacuum Brad Harris) and is perfect casting as a know-it-all student with a shit quip for every occasion. Equally insufferable as sculptor Henri Gaudier-Brezska in Ken Russell’s shrill and embarrassing ‘Savage Messiah’, Anthony’s career ended here, too – I can’t say I’m sorry as he is one of the least likeable male actors I have ever seen, and I’ve watched films with all of the Baldwin brothers (Memo to the Baldwin Brothers: you have made life unnecessarily complicated by all becoming ‘the fat one’.)

The most striking element of the enterprise is Basil Kirchin’s amazing music, including extracts from his first ‘Worlds within Worlds’ LP and additional material written with John Nathan. Surprisingly experimental for a mainstream (horror or otherwise) film, it utilises trumpet, animal roars, hums, clicks, pops, scratchy strings and the sounds of autistic children to provide an avant garde accompaniment to the story, lending a gravitas to the action even when it gets really silly. The combination of music and image probably work best in the opening sequence: the stop-motion footage of flowers and toadstools growing is beautiful on its own terms, but Basil’s music and sound makes it transcendent.

The Mutations

US Title.

Sheer Bliss?

One of the pleasures of a weblog like this is the ongoing excuse to finally get around to watching films that you may have owned for years but never actually seen. Films like ‘Madhouse’, in fact.

Hammy veteran horror actor Vincent Price stars as hammy veteran horror actor Paul Tombs. Tombs may be a psychotic killer, but he can’t remember and the Police don’t have any proof – all they know is that his fiancé had her head cut off in mysterious circumstances and he had a complete nervous breakdown, so they have their suspicions. In jolly old Britain to stage a TV comeback, Tombs is dismayed to find that the people around him are being bumped off in unpleasant ways, and only his old friend Peter Cushing doesn’t think he’s the culprit. The truth, of course, is much, much weirder…  

A rather good, civillised slasher with lashings of Gothic and a large pinch of Giallo, ‘Madhouse’ is enlivened by numerous clips from Price’s horror resume, as well as wry, solid performances from the two leads. Sort of a conflation of ‘Theatre of Blood’ and ‘Dr Phibes’, ‘Madhouse’ isn’t hugely original, but it is good fun, and the denouement is gleefully ridiculous. Good stuff - I should have watched it ages ago.

Pete and Vince

From 'Madhouse', two horror legends enjoy a party. It could be worse, boys, at least Christopher Lee isn't in this one. 

Madhouse

No Expense Spent

Some charming behind the scenes footage from the production of 'Death To The Daleks'. They absolutely infuriate me but, my God, I love the BBC.

A Nice Little Gurner

One of the most enjoyable facets of Jon Pertwee's four year stint as The Doctor was his great facility for pulling faces. 'Death To the Daleks' is no exception, even including a custom built gurning sequence at the end of episode four, as the living city of the Exxilons uses a throbbing noise and some fairy lights to try and trigger insanity in unwelcome visitors. Doesn't work, of course, nothing drives Dr. Who mad - except when Sarah Jane uses his razor on her legs.

Dr. Who: Death To The Daleks

I distinctly remember watching ‘Death To The Daleks’ when it was first broadcast in early 1974. I was nearly six. Then, I thought it was probably the most exciting thing I’d ever seen: it had Daleks, a lot of action and a sequence that put the Doctor in mortal peril if he couldn’t solve a series of mind numbingly difficult puzzles. I loved it, and thought and thought about every detail so I wouldn’t forget it before the Target book came out.

Having recently re-watched it I’m sorry to say that it looks tired and cheap, although it is still surprisingly violent. Elements like the predatory cyber serpent / hoover attachment that terrified me first time around now made me chuckle, and the complex tests of intellect were revealed as souped up playground games. Time can shatter illusions, of course, but not affection: I still love Dr. Who, and I always will, no matter how often the incredible, exciting, fantastic show I was so enthralled by as a kid is revealed as slightly silly and cobbled together. I’m British, damn it, what else would I expect?

The Zoo Gang

'The Zoo Gang' is an ITC action series that ran for six one hour episodes in 1974. It had an illustrious cast, a decent premise (WW2 undercover agents join up in the present day to fight crime) and a positive message about older people still being able to boot arse and carry off floral shirts. Best of all, it had a cracking theme tune from that underrated duo Paul and Linda McCartney.

F*** Me, It's Freddie!

FMIF as Gilmour, a brash American who brags to David Niven about the health benefits of receiving regular blood trasfusions before getting bitten on the neck by Teresa Graves in undead 'comedy' 'Vampira' (1974)

Shunters

Here's more madness from the 'Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club' archive. The Leeways act is quite extraordinary, so I'll let you watch it without passing any comment other than to wonder how long it will take you to start speculating on their sex life.

Shunters

 

'The Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club' ran on ITV for five series between 1974 and 1979. Set in a fake working man's club in Blackpool, it basically showcased the sort of 'turns' one could expect at a real WMC, for better or worse.

Some of the acts were on the way up (Cannon & Ball; The Krankies), many were indisputably on the way down (Johnny Ray; Kathy Kirby), some were down but not out (Roy Orbison). Most, however, were at their level and, apart from these brief appearances on the telly, would do the circuit until they gave up or gave out.

Here's Lonnie Donegan doing his best (not particularly good) Tom Jones. It is an interesting feature of the show that the star turns seem to resist doing they're best known for. In this case, Lonnie doesn't do any skiffling whatsoever, which is really the least you'd expect if you'd paid good money to see him. I like his outfit, though, just not sure where I would wear something like that.

Smart

Here's a great clip of Jon Pertwee's appearance on a 1974 edition of 'Billy Smarts Circus'.

There's a lot to like about it, but I particularly enjoyed: Gabriella Smart mouthing her brother's lines to him and then giving him stage directions (to be fair to David, he's under a lot of pressure for a seven year old); the audience's sudden delight when they realise that it really is Dr. Who; Jon Pertwee's charm and obvious enjoyment at being there and, finally, the Whomobile jerking around as the Doctor tries to drive off. Lovely.

Valerine Leon, Model

Valerie Leon as model Juanita Wayne in 'Sinister Sounds', a 1974 episode of 'Special Branch'.