Friday, 12 July 2013

Grip Your Witch Deflector Tightly

'Witchcraft'  starts off with a bulldozer knocking down some ancient gravestones whilst Lon Chaney Junior bellows at the driver to stop, and ends with a resurrected 300 year old witch and some of her baby eating coven being incinerated. In between these two tasty slices, however, the sandwich filling is stodgy and generally bland, only sporadically seasoned by supernatural murder, miracle cures and a lot of bickering.

It isn't a bad film, especially considering how obviously cheap it is, but its problem is that after a quick burst of energy in the first fifteen minutes, nothing much happens very slowly, so the viewer makes their own amusement and, before you know it, everything seems funny, even the road signs.  

My favourite bit is when a wheelchair bound woman prays to Jesus for the ability to walk and, incredibly, is granted it. No sooner is she up on her feet than she has an unexpected visitor - no, not the DSS - but that bloody witch, who immediately pushes her down the stairs. I know Jesus is busy, but, you know, he could have hung around just a little bit longer.

Watch in the company of friends, with beer and cheese and onion Ringos. 

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